No sex drive?

My husband does not touch me anymore. My wife has lost interest in sex. I have lost my sex drive. He does not want me anymore.

You often hear about it. Sometimes, this indicates that something is wrong within the relationship it affects. However, it often instead is a sign that the person in question is not doing well. This means that their partner should not take the issue personally.

Do stress, burnout, or depression affect sex drive?

Yes, especially with major depressions and often, too, with general stress, tension, or burnout. Long-term stress overstimulates the adrenal gland. This is the gland which secretes stress hormones, and these hormones negatively affect the parts of the brain that are in charge of our feelings, attraction, and our sex drive.

Do stress, burnout, or depression reduce our potency?

Yes, definitely. Long-term exhaustion and fatigue confuse our hormonal system. This makes it so that men find it more difficult to get an erection or to ejaculate. Furthermore, the man will be led to feel insecure and worry about his performance in bed. This worrying leads to performance anxiety, which worsens the issue even further.

How can this problem be solved?

Talking about the issue can be a good start. The partner of the person with the reduced sex drive can then show that they do not blame them, showing understanding for their condition. Having such a conversation helps a lot already. After that, you should find out whether or not stress is a potential cause. To do so, you could start by taking our online test. If any of the pointers in our stress meters point at orange or red (severe stress), then it can be a good idea to look for help.

What type of help should I consider?

If you have a good relationship with your doctor, you can speak about this with them. Other than that, there are several options. You can try solution focused cognitive therapy, behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy, or the online self-help program on This last option is a program which you can follow from home, thus without needing to go to a therapist to make an appointment or ending up on long waiting lists. You can read more about this program in the free e-book which you can download after completing the test.

How do I test my experience of stress?

We developed a simple online test which allows you to check whether you are suffering from any type of stress. By answering 21 short questions you can find out your stress score, and you can subsequently discuss the results you receive with your doctor or with our caregivers.

Paul Koeck, MD