Children experience two larger periods where they want to become more independent, and their parents will know this. The children will throw temper tantrums or suddenly become aggressive and throw themselves to the ground. How do you deal with this as a parent? Should you ignore them, or should you tell them that this is inappropriate behavior? It is not always easy to deal with this as a parent, or to know how to deal with each child individually. Furthermore, during the different time periods, the children also have different goals, meaning different types of treatment are required.
Temper tantrums in children? Why?
As mentioned before, there are two main phases in which children might throw temper tantrums. The first phase occurs during the 'terrible twos'. This phase generally starts around the two-year old mark, and ends around the time the child turns 3. In this phase, children learn how to use the bathroom, and want to become more independent. They thus do not want their parents to be there to tell them what to do or what not to do anymore. Thus, children often throw temper tantrums when you tell them what to do. The other phase is one everyone knows about, namely: puberty. This occurs during the teenage years, when children once again want to become more independent. Here, however, the goal is different. Children in puberty namely want to have more freedom n order to indirectly discover who they really are - to form their identity.
Temper tantrums in children? How do I deal with them as a parent?
Ignoring temper tantrums
Every child requires a different approach. Generally, pedagogues use an approach in which they make it clear to the child that their behavior is not the appropriate behavior to use in order for them to reach their goal. If the child then continues to scream or throws themselves to the ground, it is best to ignore the behavior. Attention is namely a type of reward for the child.
In puberty, this is different. As a parent, there must be certain strict limits, where the child cannot expand beyond. It is important to give clear reasons as to why you prohibit something, but it is also important to listen to what the teenager has to say. Ask for reasons as to why they want to do certain things, and why these are important to them.
Temper tantrums in children? The solution
'15Minutes4Me.com' developed an online program which can help you as a parent to understand the motives causing the behavior of your child. Furthermore, it can help you to extract certain information from discussions with your teenager, and to alter your focus during such discussions. Stress caused by your child's behavior can also be dealt with in this program. All these aspects have an important influence on communication techniques, meaning you can improve these with the help of the program.
Temper tantrums in children? Do the stress test!
Do you want to know what you level of stress is? Then do the free online stress test!